Single no more: A year in a relationship

I remember this time last year. We had just come from calling into one of our friends from work.

I went to the toilet and when I came back the two boys seemed off. I sensed something was wrong – they were acting funny.

We left our friend and I followed him into the car. The atmosphere was tense and our usual, nonstop conversation had faded into complete silence.

Ok, so just to put this into context for you. I had been seeing this guy for a while now. I was actually genuinely interested in him and the thought of this FREAKED ME OUT!

I am a typical case of always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Not the usual ‘oh the poor girl’. I just genuinely had no interest in anyone. Sure, there were times where I would fantasize about the IDEA of having a male companion in my life but I knew waking up in the morning having to think of all the worries of another person, wasn’t for me.

Plus, listening to your friends talking about fights with their partners really didn’t help to convince me otherwise.

Anyway, despite various guys showing interest (not in an arrogant way), I always found the more and more they liked me, told me they liked me or treated me so well, the more I got absolutely repulsed.

I couldn’t stand to be around these guys so as usual I would finish things with them. My inability to accept someone’s kindness and affection really got me down at times.

I could never break the spell – until – ‘him’.

As we drove in silence in his car my heart beat faster. A million things were running through my mind. What did I do, did I say something, when did he start feeling this way?

His car came to a halt outside my house.

This is goodbye I thought. Gearing up for the worst, because I never was one of those needy girls who expected anything more from a guy than a brief encounter.

I plucked up the courage to speak. ‘Just say it, just tell me’.

He was so nervous. He could barely speak. I just wanted him to tell me we were over so I could get this wax-strip-like sensation over with.

‘Will you go out with me?’ (Whaaaaaaaat?) I couldn’t believe it.

Fast forwarding through the details, I said yes. Me! The wild, eternally single one, Ms. Independent, the one who hated cuddles and who “would get a boyfriend when pigs fly”, was now somebody’s girlfriend.

For some people this is not a big deal. They pop in and out of a relationship as though they’re popping into Dealz for a multi-pack of Twix.

However, for me it was. I could never allow myself to commit to someone unless I felt it would be something worth investing time in.

We first met in work. I had just come back from the Summer of a lifetime living and working in New York, having a whirlwind romance with a chef/music producer and traveling the USA.

We had a one-night-encounter (we’ll call it) and I never expected it to lead to a single thing more. But, wonderfully, it did!

A year later I can say that it has been one of the best years of my life. We have been on holidays together, nights away, family gatherings as well as just lounged on the couch.

I am by no means preaching, I know singletons hate reading this crap (I used to!). But it’s not as annoying as all the pervy men saying they don’t believe that you are single because you’re so good looking, or your friends obsession with your single status and constantly finding someone they know who ‘you would love’.

I’ve left that life in the past but since meeting him I have never changed my strong minded, free spirit, nor has he ever expected me to.

We can completely be who we are with one another. I can fight with my sister, he can use the toilet with the door open (sorry hunzo :P), he can do cringy things for me without letting the lads slagging bother him, we can talk about the fact we have had a threesome – just not with each other – and can unite as a team to rob a slice of cake from a cafe, all without the other caring or being embarrassed.

Its been a year of space cakes in Amsterdam, champagne on top of the Eiffel Tower, Wicked at the West End, some arguments, some tears and lots of changes.

Despite my hatred for the cars he drives, my love to stand behind doors, or cars (or anything at all really) and frighten him and having often different views on life or where we want to be, behind all that is an open and honest friendship.

Nothing is certain, clearly! as Mr. Trump has just been elected President of America today (thanks for ruining our anniversary, Donald!) but I’ve enjoyed learning to love and be loved by a great man (tall, dark and handsome too :P) and having lots of fun along the way.

Happy anniversary to ‘him’ and I.